Imbued with a beleaguered mind and 20 extra minutes, I will, with fear and ignorance, pick the games of the Big 12 Tournament:
Round 1 (or, something-to-fill-ESPN2-on-Wednesday-night round)
Oklahoma State v. TCU: TCU comes in riding high on a coaching scandal related to pay-for-influence. The scandal actually is that someone thought that a TCU player would go pro and was willing to shell out the exorbitant sum of $6K for influence. I hope that shoe company gets their money's worth when Robinson dons a pair of Pro-Keds for the Duesseldorf Baskets next season. Sorry...on a tangent...but that is more interesting than this game. OSU 86-81.
West Virginia v. Oklahoma: Huggins watches as his band of merry freshmen get butchered by the other Kruger in a remake of Nightmare on Elm Street 3...both of which will have about the same number in the audience. OU 85-71.
Round 2 (or, the slightly-more-interesting-than-Round 1 round)
Iowa State v. Baylor: As ISU fans listen to pundits predict that their all time favorite basketball player and coach is going to be hired by one of their hated in-conference rivals, their current coach, Not-Fred-Hoiberg, leads the fighting windstorms to a rousing victory against the fighting Scott Drews, who BTW is not even COTY in basketball at his own school. ISU 71-63
Kansas State v. Oklahoma State: KSU won their two meetings with OSU by a combined 57 points. Anei gets his 3 fouls on the opening tip. Barry Brown scores more than OSU does. KSU stomps Xerox like they are reliving Office Space. KSU 79-59.
Texas Tech v. Oklahoma: Tech is better. However, flushed with success and talk of 2 seed, the Red Raiders have to fight through a first half hangover. Much closer than people think. OU cannot learn Italian quickly enough as Moretti yells "Bognato!" Tech 64-62.
Kansas v. Texas: Kerwin Roach is called out of hiatus, passes it around and UT comes out smoking. To be blunt, UT has the joint rocking. They are on such a roll, the audience gets a contact high. However, in the 2nd half, Kansas gets the munchies and the Longhorns are the Cheetos. KU plays like the Preseason Number 1 Ranked 4 seed that they are. KU 72-68.
Semifinals (Moving on up to flagship ESPN Round)
Kansas State v. Iowa State: What a spicy matchup. The Angry Clouds are ready for battle. This is Big 12 Senior night as seven seniors combine for almost all the scoring. This is a real rock fight that goes down to the wire. As Ron White once said, "Its not that the wind is blowin', its what the wind is blowin'!" Shayok is too much. ISU 68-67.
Texas Tech v. Kansas: Kansas has a lot of pride and this is a revenge game. KU is hell bent on proving that the upstart Red Raiders are not ready for the bigtime. The mighty JayHawks are not just going to take this change of power lying down! KU has all of the motivation, spirit and enthusiasm (and McDonalds All Americans...don't forget that!) Then, they tip off. Tech is prepared, focused. Both teams have a will to win but Tech has the will to prepare to win. Tech 74-59.
Finals (THE THROWDOWN IN KCTOWN! THE THRILLA IN MISSION HILLA! or something like that)
Texas Tech v. Iowa State: It is hard to beat a team 3 times. Since Tech lost in Lubbock, this is not a problem. Beard wants to cut down a net in the arena where the game is played. Culver does not need to score 30...well, maybe he does...oh, it doesn't matter whether he needs to or not because he does with Mooney and Corprew showing out as well. Owens is a beast. The storm is over and the Victory Bells will ring out! Tech wins the Big 12 for the 2nd time in a week. Tech 76-64.
Round 1 (or, something-to-fill-ESPN2-on-Wednesday-night round)
Oklahoma State v. TCU: TCU comes in riding high on a coaching scandal related to pay-for-influence. The scandal actually is that someone thought that a TCU player would go pro and was willing to shell out the exorbitant sum of $6K for influence. I hope that shoe company gets their money's worth when Robinson dons a pair of Pro-Keds for the Duesseldorf Baskets next season. Sorry...on a tangent...but that is more interesting than this game. OSU 86-81.
West Virginia v. Oklahoma: Huggins watches as his band of merry freshmen get butchered by the other Kruger in a remake of Nightmare on Elm Street 3...both of which will have about the same number in the audience. OU 85-71.
Round 2 (or, the slightly-more-interesting-than-Round 1 round)
Iowa State v. Baylor: As ISU fans listen to pundits predict that their all time favorite basketball player and coach is going to be hired by one of their hated in-conference rivals, their current coach, Not-Fred-Hoiberg, leads the fighting windstorms to a rousing victory against the fighting Scott Drews, who BTW is not even COTY in basketball at his own school. ISU 71-63
Kansas State v. Oklahoma State: KSU won their two meetings with OSU by a combined 57 points. Anei gets his 3 fouls on the opening tip. Barry Brown scores more than OSU does. KSU stomps Xerox like they are reliving Office Space. KSU 79-59.
Texas Tech v. Oklahoma: Tech is better. However, flushed with success and talk of 2 seed, the Red Raiders have to fight through a first half hangover. Much closer than people think. OU cannot learn Italian quickly enough as Moretti yells "Bognato!" Tech 64-62.
Kansas v. Texas: Kerwin Roach is called out of hiatus, passes it around and UT comes out smoking. To be blunt, UT has the joint rocking. They are on such a roll, the audience gets a contact high. However, in the 2nd half, Kansas gets the munchies and the Longhorns are the Cheetos. KU plays like the Preseason Number 1 Ranked 4 seed that they are. KU 72-68.
Semifinals (Moving on up to flagship ESPN Round)
Kansas State v. Iowa State: What a spicy matchup. The Angry Clouds are ready for battle. This is Big 12 Senior night as seven seniors combine for almost all the scoring. This is a real rock fight that goes down to the wire. As Ron White once said, "Its not that the wind is blowin', its what the wind is blowin'!" Shayok is too much. ISU 68-67.
Texas Tech v. Kansas: Kansas has a lot of pride and this is a revenge game. KU is hell bent on proving that the upstart Red Raiders are not ready for the bigtime. The mighty JayHawks are not just going to take this change of power lying down! KU has all of the motivation, spirit and enthusiasm (and McDonalds All Americans...don't forget that!) Then, they tip off. Tech is prepared, focused. Both teams have a will to win but Tech has the will to prepare to win. Tech 74-59.
Finals (THE THROWDOWN IN KCTOWN! THE THRILLA IN MISSION HILLA! or something like that)
Texas Tech v. Iowa State: It is hard to beat a team 3 times. Since Tech lost in Lubbock, this is not a problem. Beard wants to cut down a net in the arena where the game is played. Culver does not need to score 30...well, maybe he does...oh, it doesn't matter whether he needs to or not because he does with Mooney and Corprew showing out as well. Owens is a beast. The storm is over and the Victory Bells will ring out! Tech wins the Big 12 for the 2nd time in a week. Tech 76-64.
