Man.
That game SUCKED last night. I am now about 90% sure we don't get that Top 8 National Seed.
After the game, I was trying to explain to my wife... How that game made me feel.
I told her it felt very similar to my Vasectomy experience...
Let me share.
This is a long story... So if TLDR, I understand.
2 Years after our son was born (our second child) my wife started imploring me to get a Vasectomy..
I hemmed and hawed for several years, and finally made an appointment 3 years later...
I made an appointment here in Austin, with A DR... Richard Chopp... No Lie... Google it.
I came to learn that he also did arthroscopic knee surgeries as well.
The day of my appointment, I went in for my appointment in relaxed clothing, preparing to get the deed done, that day.
Dr. Chopp informed me that the first appointment was a pre-procedure consultation.
At the end of the consultation, he told me to keep a look out for a FED EX box that would arrive with an antibiotic cream, that would need to be applied regularly.
He warned me that if not used, a could get a nasty infection that could make my testicles swell up to the size of oranges....
I also heard this from other people that I know, that this occurred to... Didn't sound fun....
Several days later, the FED EX parcel arrived....
I didn't open it... just chucked it on top of the washing machine in the Laundry Room.
So finally the day came for the procedure. It was a Friday Morning...
I had my wife take me to the Dr.... Not knowing whether or not I would be able to drive home...
The procedure occurred....Don't let people tell you that it was painless... It was not... Very Uncomfortable...
He sent me home with a Vicodin prescription, so I picked them up at the pharmacy on the ride home...
I followed his directions... and rested in bed, all day, taking my pain pills...
This didn't seem too bad.
The following morning (Saturday), my wife and daughter were leaving town for a Girl Scout trip to Houston to go visit the Johnson Space Center.
On the way out the door, my wife reminded me to make sure that I was applying the Antiseptic cream....
I told her I was feeling fine, but would apply it....
That Saturday Afternoon, my 5YO boy had a T Ball game.
I was one of the coaches... I was feeling pretty good, so went out and helped coach the kids...
We played the game, and I guess I over-exerted myself, chasing the boys around...
And by the time we got home from the game, I started feeling a great amount of discomfort.
So I popped a pain pill... waited several hours and popped another one..
By bedtime, the pain was growing... I went to bed hoping to just sleep the pain away.
Feeling groggy, I forgot to apply the special cream
I woke up Sunday morning, took more medication, and just stayed in bed.
But the pain seemed to be getting worse...
Sunday evening, my wife and daughter returned...
I told her the pain that I was receiving...It was getting worse throughout the day.
She told me I was stupid for coaching the kids and running around...
That night before bed she reminded me to put the special cream on, that I might be experiencing pain due to an infection.
I fell asleep before I could apply.
Monday Morning, 5:00 AM, I woke up... And the pain was really bad.
I got up out of bed, struggled down the hall to the laundry room in the dark...
Ripped open the FedEx Box, opened the container of special cream...
And went into the bathroom to apply.
I figured I better put that stuff on my junk, before my wife woke up, so that I could say that I had followed her instructions...
I had avoided taking a look at "the boys", simply because I just didn't want to see what kind of shape they were in.
But, prior to application....was somewhat relieved that they had not swollen up...
So, I just opened that cream, and squeezed a MASSIVE palm full of it, and just blindly applied it...
Slathering my testicles and junk, making sure that I wouldn't need to do it again, for the rest of the day.
About 15-20 Seconds Later...
It became clear that something had gone wrong.
My entire crotch started burning. It quickly went from burning to scalding.
I started hollering for my wife from the bathroom.
I must have been having an allergic reaction to the medicated cream.
Told her I just applied the ointment, and think that I must have a severe infection, because the cream was burning... BAD.
My moaning turned to Cursing and damn near screaming...
I like to joke around, sometime I will exaggerate for effect....
From the bedroom...My wife found my situation very humorous... between laughing asked what I did...
I told her I just applied the cream for the first time...
Pretty much got the "I told you so" reaction...
I grabbed a towel, and started trying to remove the cream... Because clearly it was causing the problem.
I wiped it off the best I could... But now I could see that all of my entire crotch region that had been smothered and covered, was BRIGHT RED.
The pain went from a "10" to a "20". I was hunched over, 1/2 naked next to the shower...
Then my wife, stopped laughing at me... and realized I was in BAD SHAPE...
She grabbed the phone to call 911.
I told her NO WAY, did I want my local police showing up in my bathroom.
Since the cream was oily, I grabbed some baby oil... anything to try and get the rest of the cream off...
Didn't work well....
So I jumped in the shower, and turned the jet sprayer, right on my junk.... trying to wash off the rest of the cream.
That pain that was a "20"... quickly doubled to a "40"...
I started cussing louder and yelling.... waking my kids up.
At that moment, I almost had her call 911. But couldn't GO OUT like that.
I refused to show up in the local newspaper Police Blog...
Man... my junk was ON FIRE.
The water seemed to make everything infinitely worse...
So after I got out of the shower, my wife helped me get back into bed, where I moaned and squirmed for another 15-20 minutes.
After I was able to move around again...
I went and grabbed the ointment instructions, surely expecting to find out I had applied it incorrectly.
Put on my reading glasses....
"Apply small amount to palm, the size of a pea" "gently rub around the knee, working in for even coverage"
Later followed by "DO NOT COMBINE WITH WATER"
WTF, did I just do?
I grabbed the FED EX Box, looking for more instruction...
A smaller box fell out... I was able to tell that the second box was an AntiBiotic Cream.
Grabbed the first box.
That MF'er Richard Chopp...
Had sent me 2 creams:
1) One Antibiotic Cream my Cajones...
and
2) A tube of MEDICAL GRADE BEN GAY, intended for someone that got knee surgery.
That pain that I experienced that day...
I can almost compare it to what I saw in Game 1 Vs Kansas...
Giving up 5 RUNS to Kansas in the 7th... was like the Vasectomy.
Seeing Devine melt down, was the Ben Gay.
That game SUCKED last night. I am now about 90% sure we don't get that Top 8 National Seed.
After the game, I was trying to explain to my wife... How that game made me feel.
I told her it felt very similar to my Vasectomy experience...
Let me share.
This is a long story... So if TLDR, I understand.
2 Years after our son was born (our second child) my wife started imploring me to get a Vasectomy..
I hemmed and hawed for several years, and finally made an appointment 3 years later...
I made an appointment here in Austin, with A DR... Richard Chopp... No Lie... Google it.
I came to learn that he also did arthroscopic knee surgeries as well.
The day of my appointment, I went in for my appointment in relaxed clothing, preparing to get the deed done, that day.
Dr. Chopp informed me that the first appointment was a pre-procedure consultation.
At the end of the consultation, he told me to keep a look out for a FED EX box that would arrive with an antibiotic cream, that would need to be applied regularly.
He warned me that if not used, a could get a nasty infection that could make my testicles swell up to the size of oranges....
I also heard this from other people that I know, that this occurred to... Didn't sound fun....
Several days later, the FED EX parcel arrived....
I didn't open it... just chucked it on top of the washing machine in the Laundry Room.
So finally the day came for the procedure. It was a Friday Morning...
I had my wife take me to the Dr.... Not knowing whether or not I would be able to drive home...
The procedure occurred....Don't let people tell you that it was painless... It was not... Very Uncomfortable...
He sent me home with a Vicodin prescription, so I picked them up at the pharmacy on the ride home...
I followed his directions... and rested in bed, all day, taking my pain pills...
This didn't seem too bad.
The following morning (Saturday), my wife and daughter were leaving town for a Girl Scout trip to Houston to go visit the Johnson Space Center.
On the way out the door, my wife reminded me to make sure that I was applying the Antiseptic cream....
I told her I was feeling fine, but would apply it....
That Saturday Afternoon, my 5YO boy had a T Ball game.
I was one of the coaches... I was feeling pretty good, so went out and helped coach the kids...
We played the game, and I guess I over-exerted myself, chasing the boys around...
And by the time we got home from the game, I started feeling a great amount of discomfort.
So I popped a pain pill... waited several hours and popped another one..
By bedtime, the pain was growing... I went to bed hoping to just sleep the pain away.
Feeling groggy, I forgot to apply the special cream
I woke up Sunday morning, took more medication, and just stayed in bed.
But the pain seemed to be getting worse...
Sunday evening, my wife and daughter returned...
I told her the pain that I was receiving...It was getting worse throughout the day.
She told me I was stupid for coaching the kids and running around...
That night before bed she reminded me to put the special cream on, that I might be experiencing pain due to an infection.
I fell asleep before I could apply.
Monday Morning, 5:00 AM, I woke up... And the pain was really bad.
I got up out of bed, struggled down the hall to the laundry room in the dark...
Ripped open the FedEx Box, opened the container of special cream...
And went into the bathroom to apply.
I figured I better put that stuff on my junk, before my wife woke up, so that I could say that I had followed her instructions...
I had avoided taking a look at "the boys", simply because I just didn't want to see what kind of shape they were in.
But, prior to application....was somewhat relieved that they had not swollen up...
So, I just opened that cream, and squeezed a MASSIVE palm full of it, and just blindly applied it...
Slathering my testicles and junk, making sure that I wouldn't need to do it again, for the rest of the day.
About 15-20 Seconds Later...
It became clear that something had gone wrong.
My entire crotch started burning. It quickly went from burning to scalding.
I started hollering for my wife from the bathroom.
I must have been having an allergic reaction to the medicated cream.
Told her I just applied the ointment, and think that I must have a severe infection, because the cream was burning... BAD.
My moaning turned to Cursing and damn near screaming...
I like to joke around, sometime I will exaggerate for effect....
From the bedroom...My wife found my situation very humorous... between laughing asked what I did...
I told her I just applied the cream for the first time...
Pretty much got the "I told you so" reaction...
I grabbed a towel, and started trying to remove the cream... Because clearly it was causing the problem.
I wiped it off the best I could... But now I could see that all of my entire crotch region that had been smothered and covered, was BRIGHT RED.
The pain went from a "10" to a "20". I was hunched over, 1/2 naked next to the shower...
Then my wife, stopped laughing at me... and realized I was in BAD SHAPE...
She grabbed the phone to call 911.
I told her NO WAY, did I want my local police showing up in my bathroom.
Since the cream was oily, I grabbed some baby oil... anything to try and get the rest of the cream off...
Didn't work well....
So I jumped in the shower, and turned the jet sprayer, right on my junk.... trying to wash off the rest of the cream.
That pain that was a "20"... quickly doubled to a "40"...
I started cussing louder and yelling.... waking my kids up.
At that moment, I almost had her call 911. But couldn't GO OUT like that.
I refused to show up in the local newspaper Police Blog...
Man... my junk was ON FIRE.
The water seemed to make everything infinitely worse...
So after I got out of the shower, my wife helped me get back into bed, where I moaned and squirmed for another 15-20 minutes.
After I was able to move around again...
I went and grabbed the ointment instructions, surely expecting to find out I had applied it incorrectly.
Put on my reading glasses....
"Apply small amount to palm, the size of a pea" "gently rub around the knee, working in for even coverage"
Later followed by "DO NOT COMBINE WITH WATER"
WTF, did I just do?
I grabbed the FED EX Box, looking for more instruction...
A smaller box fell out... I was able to tell that the second box was an AntiBiotic Cream.
Grabbed the first box.
That MF'er Richard Chopp...
Had sent me 2 creams:
1) One Antibiotic Cream my Cajones...
and
2) A tube of MEDICAL GRADE BEN GAY, intended for someone that got knee surgery.
That pain that I experienced that day...
I can almost compare it to what I saw in Game 1 Vs Kansas...
Giving up 5 RUNS to Kansas in the 7th... was like the Vasectomy.
Seeing Devine melt down, was the Ben Gay.
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